I feel apologetic for bringing up school-related topics to a lot of people I talk to. People are also giving me the sense that it's not cool to get so hung up on school. I know I shouldn't let school take over my life and I think I'm making a good effort on balancing school and my other priorities. Specifically, some friends are frowning upon the fact that sometimes I put school first and I'll miss church for school-related things (really trying to avoid saying the word "study" here because it makes me sound even more hopeless, unhip, not cool etc.) I know that during my sophomore year, I definitely made school my first priority and completely neglected my spiritual life, but this year, I'm definitely trying to change things up. But then, school comes rushing back at me again. This is my first quarter taking 3 upper division core classes and my exam schedule is very hectic. so, I was not used to it, didn't plan my time very well, but I'm think I'm doing okay now, fixing that time management there.

I guess, I don't want to feel sorry for bringing up school or acting like school is such a huge thing for me, because it is. I just happen to take school very seriously because it means so much more than being productive or getting a job. It means I'll be able to take the slack off of my parents, eventually. I also realize that I'm super-asian which is also very uncool amongst all the ABC's. So this means that I work hard so I can take care of my parents later on and they won't have to struggle. My parents sacrificed a lot so I could go to private school. In middle school, my dad was unemployed and my mom told me there was about $50 in our checking account. Yes, I know..sob story, but the point is. Getting an education is such a special thing. It's an amazing privilege and I don't take it for granted and that is why I'm so serious about school.

My mom used to tell me that when she came to the U.S. she didn't speak any English and she just stayed at home while my dad went to work. They were struggling, so my mom went looking for a job. Initially she was doing manual labor, lifting boxes in a warehouse. I was 3 and in preschool. She had already started me in private school. She decided that she couldn't keep doing manual labor for the rest of her life and went to city college to take ESL classes. Her plan was to learn some English and computer skills so she could at least get a sit-down office job. And she did it all while raising a kid. I can barely get through going to school and having a job. I know I complain about my mom all the time because she's got a crazy control problem, but I really do respect her because her life sucks. I mean her life really really sucks to the max, but she always tried to improve her situation. ...so there it is. I didn't intend for this to be such a long post.

just got this in the mail!



oh yes teddy bear usb